Category: sarcasm

Oh glorious day! Bin Laden has been killed in a secret American CIA operation where no photographic images were taken before burying his body at sea. We can now rest easy knowing that a trustworthy agency in the US of A has told us that a terrorist leader has been killed.

According to last week’s Sun, we are all going to die on September 10th. I don’t know what’s worse, the world ending or people taking the Sun seriously.

Daily Mail: “Briton fell to his death jumping between 5th floor hotel balconies in Spain after all-day drinking session”. My sincere condolences go out to KFC on the devastating loss of a future employee.

After all that’s gone on I have to say, Dave’s “Hug A Hoodie” worked superbly. Best thing to happen since sliced bread as they say.

Give a man a fish, and he can eat for a day. But get him an incapacity benefit form and he can have takeaways every night for life.

“Opportunity” and “crisis” share the same word in Chinese. Which helps explain their involvement with so many African nations.

I just looked up “Retweet” in the dictionary and was quite surprised. It doesn’t mean attention seeker.

A cop walks up my car, ” Sir, do you know why I’m standing here?”…. “Because you got all C’s in highschool?”

I love how you can’t tell if people are being sarcastic over the internet.

Tony Blair being “Middle East Peace Envoy” is like McDonalds sponsoring “Slimmer of the Year”

I bought some pajamas the other day, and when I got home I realized they had pockets. Which is great, because now I no longer have to hold things when I’m asleep.

I was walking past my local Asda and I saw a sign on one of the doors saying, “Exit Only.” I pushed it, went in and walked up to customer services. “You’ve seriously underestimated that door’s use.” I told them.

I don’t get why we’re creating a colony of obese monkeys to study diabetes. Don’t scientists know about trailer parks?

Yahoo News: “Shooting victim was ‘targetted’” I think we all know Yahoo’s headlines are getting a bit obvious now.

Those Americans are dumb. They have got over 30 different months and only 12 days in each one