Category: sarcasm

Reebok, Sponsoring failed exams since 1895

Phil Tuffnell talking about the kingdom tower: “1 Kilometer that’s half a mile high” That Phil is why you were a cricketer.

Why is it when people see you smoking they come up to you and ask if you have a lighter? How else do they think I lit it, with my superman heat vision?

Woo! finally something for the trophy cabinet ! That tiny little trophy will look huge in our cabinet. Right next to where they expected the world cup and the Wimbledon cup to sit…

BBC news today, American beats world record for hot dog eating. well well, nearly fell off my chair….

My girlfriend just got me a DVD for Christmas, she said to me “I know that you love stand-up comedians and funny people, so I got you the new Andy Parsons DVD…” After 7 discs and 3 jokes, I finally realised that the stupid cow has a sense of irony.

How nice it was for Manchester City Council, to posthumously make the late Tony Wilson a Freeman of the City. It must be great comfort for his widow to know that Tony’s ghost can walk sheep and cattle over bridges, and carry an un-sheathed sword in public.

People are saying it’s serves the English right to be dumped out the World Cup after expecting to do well in it. You’d think they used to rule the world or something.

I thought you had to be smart to be a doctor, if I’d known you could make a career out of shrugs and ‘dunno’ I would be a lot richer right now!

Pizza Hut Double Pepperoni: Because three slices of pepperoni would just be overkill.

English sport- we couldn’t win an arm wrestle with Jade Goodys mum

“15 Year Old High-School Gunman Shoots Himself” That’ll teach all those bullies!

I like these re-sealable cheese packets. They’re fantastic. It’s like folding the end of the packet over, only more awkward and time-consuming.

If mono means one, and poly means many, what does Monopoly mean? ——————————————————————————– Means “one person owning many” usually properties or businesses. This aint wiki answers, this is a joke site…

I’ve started watching Bargain Hunt on the BBC recently, and it has got me really excited about the profits that can be made from dealing in antiques. I’ve just dropped the curator of the Louvre an email asking if I can buy the Venus de Milo for 100 – I hope he agrees, based on […]