Category: sarcasm

Asian Convenience Store Owners: Maybe there are still racial stereotypes and hatred towards you because you choose to waffle down the phone in urdu when English customers come in, don’t stop your conversation and be as rude as possible in your sweat stinking overpriced shop. Just a thought.

I was walking through the park today and wondered, “why does the frisby get bigger the closer it gets?” And then I realised due to the curvature of my eye the size of the object depends entirely on the angle between it’s most distant points, which decreases with distance, and the frisby from a distance […]

I’m dreading the weekend, I’ve got to go to my mother’s cremation. Or Sunday lunch, as she calls it.

Why is it that people who wear camouflage trousers stand out so much??

How come in the obituaries you never read “Died gasping for air and clinging onto the nurses arm with a look of terror on his face.”

“Clegg: I wanted to ‘wring’ bankers necks”. Didn’t we all Nick. If only one of us had reached a position of political power, like say, Deputy Prime Minister, then we might have actually been able to do something about it.

For all Americans who don’t think your stupid … Read the words on the right —>

In this weeks FHM, “Ricky Gervais and Chris Rock teach you how to be funny”. Next months edition will feature Emile Heskey’s tips on how to put the ball in the back of the net.

BBC NEWS : “Unknown” Body parts are of missing person. If they weren’t off of a missing person I’m fairly certain they wouldn’t be “unknown”

Women and flowers are similar. They have to be attractive until they get fertilised. It doesn’t matter what happens after that.

Mbanga & his mum walk 2 miles a day to get here, conditions are squalid & sanitation is disgusting, there’s not a drop of water in sight & the food on offer has little nutritional value, flies fill the air, it’s a desperate scene. Anyway, welcome to KFC.

Gillette are said to be capitalising on their sponsorship of Thierry Henry by unveiling their revolutionary hands-free shaver

Whenever the Tax office write to you, they always use brown envelopes. It’s like they know what you’re going to do with it.

So the government want us to pay the taliban to change sides… That’s a great idea, why not offer Osama Bin Laden a knighthood and make Rafa Benitez England manager while we’re at it?

The British Army are coming under pressure to use lead free bullets. Yea, because we don’t want the enemy getting lead poisoning while we’re trying to kill them.