Category: sarcasm

I’ve got myself into a little bit of debt and so I downloaded my Experian credit report. It looks depressing but I’m sure paying 8 a month to view the page will get me out of debt quicker than using it towards actually repaying.

I’d just been out birthday shopping and was sitting on the crowded bus home, when this little old lady asked me if I mind giving up my seat for her. I looked at her miserable face and heavy shopping bags, and said “Yes, I do.” “Alright then,” she replied, “Just don’t expect any christmas presents […]

Why does all modern club music tell you to put your hands in the air? It makes collecting your drink at the bar very difficult

Just seen a news presenter asking an astronomer where is the best place to look to see tonights meteor shower.. ‘Up’ surely?

In france they’ve always been very thoughtfull about the environment. I mean even in 1624 lodewijk de 14e allready thought about it. He designed the fountains in the palace of Versailles in such a way that only half of them work at a time.

According to a recent survey taken in Scotland, 1 in 10 Scottish kids have been knocked down on the road whilst out playing… Only 1? Has driving standards really got that bad that they’ve missed so many of them?

BBC News – First BBC television weatherman George Cowling dies. Bet he didn’t predict that.

So according to those annoying little adverts down the side of Facebook, it says i can phone Africa for 10p. Fantastic, i’ll just put that here with all the other useful things i’ve collected over the years, such as this motorcycle ashtray, and this inflatable dart board.

I got stopped by the cops last night and the copper asked if I’d been drinking? “Don’t be daft” I replied, “I cant’ afford alcohol AND petrol!!”

My friend said to me yesterday ‘you understand sarcasm really well’ I didn’t think i did, but maybe i’m wrong.

Sky News: Teacher secretly filmed beating children. At chess.

Walkers must have a free secret give away on, I’ve just opened a bag a found a crisp!

So MTV have organised a concert in aid of climate change. Sounds like a good idea. Except: those rock stars they booked have to fly to the gig on their private jets, people have to travel via car/plane/boat to get there and then leave their rubbish when it finishes, all those lights from the stage, […]

I’d like to thank politicians for no longer patronising us, and I’d also like to thank them for wearing colour coded ties so we knew which party was which.

A news report read: “Council Spending Cuts Spark Demonstrations” That’s a shame. since cancelling November 5th for Health & Safety, the council have always put on amazing firework displays for Diwali, Ramadan, Eid and the Birthday of Guru Tegh Bahadur.