Category: puns

For some strange reason, whenever I pressed my door-bell I received an electric shock. I couldn’t put my finger on it.

I got on a train in Spain and saw a bunch of footballers standing around It must have been Rail Madrid

I was crowned national limbo champion last night. I hit a new low.

I downloaded Iron man the other day, it took so long I ended up watching Rust man.

I was going to to tell you a tale, of the night I escaped from a car park’s second level to the third. But, that’s a different story.

I was playing poker with my mates and as the flop was revealed, I put two ounces of meat in the air. One of my mates said, “What are you doing?” I replied, “Raising the steaks.”

I saw an atheist man with no cheeks, no eyes, no forehead, no chin, and a lisp. His lack of faith disturbed me.

I heard through the grapevine that phones are being replaced with more primitive technology

Don’t skim read, you might something.

The outside of my house was looking shabby. So I added a pier and two old donkeys. That should Brighton it up!

What do you get if you cross Time Vine and Amir Khan?. A Punjabbi

I wrote, directed, produced and starred in a play about my life, but it did awfully sales wise. Made a completely show of myself..

I used to have a job underground, but never mined.

I haven’t had a single visitor to my Museum of Television Controllers. People aren’t remotely interested.

Our local flag shop has shut down because of a lack of stock That place never had any standards.