Category: puns

I just saw on BBC News that a Woman’s house set on fire after she left her crystal ball in the window. Pitty she didn’t see that one coming!

I live in a bit of a rough area. The Citizens Advice centre has a sign up on the front door, simply says ‘Move’

I’ve met this girl who, whenever she’s around, makes me so happy. She’s called Sarah Tonin.

‘Bird Flu’ Epidemic? Or pun?

I was in Sudan when I broke my ankle and fell in the Nile. I ended up in Egypt. Oh well, that’s the way it goes.

I sent my pet turkey to Bernard Matthews to learn some manners. Hes now a reformed character.

What’s Relaxed, Porcelain, and cancerous? A mellow gnomea

Tell you something strange. I was in my bathroom earlier and I heard weird noises coming from the sink… it was bizarre. Then, I walked to the apartment window and noticed a man dressed in an all black suit with black shades, suspiciously walking around outside in the car park. Beginning to think that someone […]

She was only a welder’s daughter. She had acetylene legs.

I met my girlfriend on Runescape. She was very into role play.

Superlatives are the best thing in the world.

I go out with a nice, female, semi-aquatic mammal. She’s my significant otter.

What do you call a baby sheep between two sheets of plastic? Lambinated.

why did the chicken cross the play ground? to get to the other slide..

Someone asked me how many haircuts I’d had in my life. I said, “off the top of my head, about 250.”