Category: puns

I’ve just heard it took the mexican fire brigade almost an hour to extinguish the flames. They couldn’t find a jose long enough.

I hate dead people. Like seriously, get a life.

Steve Jobs is going to be buried, there’s a gap for that

Looking after my kid is proving to be expensive. I’ve just had to buy a baby monitor, for crying out loud.

I just met a guy earlier who boasted that he invented the chef hat. I thought he was a bit big headed to be honest.

At what age should I tell my philosophies they’re adopted?

After 23 years of marriage, Phil Taylor has moved out of his marital home and Is staying at a hotel, I wonder how long before he checks out

I made Apple crumble today! I told her Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow were dead

Some of these maths Puns just don’t add up, I wish the Mods would take away them as its causing a big divide.

My mate told me he has a shed full of geese. I asked him for a gander…

This Fleetwood Mac Sat Nav is rubbish – it keeps telling me to go my own way.

Never take your nasal decongestant to the capital of Iceland. It’ll wreck your Vick.

This new film Contagion comes out soon. I have to say, it’s looking pretty sick.

New Pirates of the Carribean movie out soon. Rated Arrgh

I was fired from my Job with ‘The News of The World’ for racist behaviour when reporting on the expected re-collaboration of Cheryl Cole and Will.I.Am To be fair, the headline “Spades dig Cole” should have been right up their street…