Category: puns

I wonder what turns OCD people on…. and off. And on again. And then off again.

Womansion (n): Similar to a Mansion, but consisting solely of a kitchen.

We spoilt our son last night by arranging 19 bouncy castles of every shape and size for what was a perfect birthday party. Boy, is today just going to be a huge let down.

I always ask too many questions. Does anybody know why this is?

A stand-up comic came in and performed on every floor of my building today. It was funny on so many levels.

Ebay accounts are Forbidden.

I went for an audition the other day to play the Invisible man. The director told me he couldn’t really see me in the role, so I got it.

Watched the pre-Budget report today. Coincidentally, my wife’s always talking my hard-earned money off me, and I call her ‘Darling’ too.

Because of Bob Crow and the RMT, I have heard some say strike action should be banned. I just think that would drive it underground.

I lost my dictionary today. Life has no meaning anymore.

I went skydiving with a mong when his parachute failed. He didn’t seem to appreciate the gravity of the situation.

My young daughter came home complaining her scalp was itching and on closer inspection, there were written words all over her head. Something like .. ‘My first is in file but not in vile’ .. ‘My second in life, but not in wife’ .. ‘My third is in fell, but not in fall’ .. and […]

Mexican strip club – Sombre-hoes

My crazy wife dresses her garden gnomes up like supermodels. The one’s called Gnomi Campbell.

Controversy as Alton Towers set to hold another ‘Muslims only’ day. It’s a Paki jolly day.