Category: puns

I once knew a Norse God but he was diagnosed with Leukaemia and I lost contact with him for 3 years. I saw him today and he was Baldr

I have a house in West Africa, but I haven’t Benin for a while.

I recommended to Peter Pan that we go to America by plane. But no, he still believes in ferries.

My wife text me tonight: “Do you think you could pick up 8 pints of milk?” I text back, “No, my hands are not that big”.

When two egotists fight it really is an I for an I

It really bugs me when people use insect puns.

“Warburtons factory closed by fire” Must’ve been baking in there!

My Friend told me that caustic soda was a drink. Just found out it was a lye.

The papers are going on about how this is “The heaviest snowfall in decades” and how “The councils are ill-prepared” etc No grit, Sherlock.

Did you hear about the football coach that got gunned down last night on the south London playing fields? That’s the last time he keeps them back for shooting practice.

The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner – there were strings attached.

A group of people gathered outside my house and started shouting ‘we love Poborsky!, we love Poborsky!’. I hate Karel singers.

Why is Captain Birdseye greedy? His business makes him sell fish.

Having a nudist wife has its ups and downs. That’s what happens when you don’t wear a bra, though.

My mate beat me at Jenga by cheating. So I knocked his block off.