Category: puns

A man with a whistle and a man with a football got on my train yesterday. It kicked off.

I’ve decided to give up paedophilia. No kidding.

The wife told me her mother’s got a stomach ulcer. I laughed and said “What…you mean there’s a boil in the bag?”

I went up to this girl and said, “Do you come here often?”. She said, “Leave it out, Dad”.

So they have found water on Mars Is this a Mars spa ?

I work at the top secret Headquarters for Jokes. The Pun-tagon.

Forecast for this weekend: Mostly drunk, with a chance of hangover.

i tell you who’s a really good singer….. R Kelly we’re so proud of her

My mate has an extreme hatred for certain security software developers… I’m sick of his Anti-Symantec views.

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it… You can say that again…

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

TalkSport – The Sun for people who can’t read.

“Alright Sir, are you ready for your prostate exam?” “Yes doctor.” “Ok then, Question 1 – Where is the prostate located?”

I need the extract the watery substance from a tree ASAP

I was going to shave my beard off, but then decided to give it Amish.