Category: puns

“Vigil held in Birmingham” I don’t know where the other Thunderbirds are.

A word of advice, never accept a cup of Joe from a cannibal

You know that you’re getting old when your narrow waist swaps places with your broad mind.

So, scientists in Newcastle have managed to synthasize human sperm. Come again?

I was going to have some mates round the flat later, so I figured I’d cook a meal. I found a dish that looked promising: In a pan, heat 1 cup of D until boiling, reduce heat and let simmer. After 5 minutes add 1 Tsp of I and cover for 15 minutes. In a […]

I was counting quartz and amethyst today…. I am addicted to crystal math.

According to a report, women speak in a higher voice when talking to men they fancy. I’v never heard that.

BBC News – ‘LadBrokes & other betting shops in the area have been vandalized and smashed to pieces’ What are the odds?

Saw a disabled kid at the fair today, he was having a wheelie good time

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

What did the Hungarian name his rodent extermination company? Boot-a-pest.

Sometimes pregnancy lasts so long it seems like a maternity.

I’ve just brought a new Bachelors pad…. It’s full of Cuppa Soup.

We’ve got an aviary at home, but one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to the sounds of ’80s synth pop. Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark.

I gave my Son a faceless coin, He couldn’t make head nor tails of it.