Category: puns

Need to build an ark to save two of every creature? I Noah guy

I’m going to stork using wading bird puns from heron.

Being a small stone, I have not got as much courage as I would like. If only I was a little boulder.

Working at a bakery, I tend to make a lot of breadful buns.

What’s Nick Griffin’s favourite part of a supermarket? The Czech Out.

Every town I go to has at least one rubbish bin, it’s about time they replace them with good ones.

An ex-Gladiator just came up to me and asked: “Do you know, that when it’s a full moon, certain peoples skin becomes covered with fur?” I replied: “Yes, I’m aware Wolf”.

My son just got into Oxford University. I don’t know why everyone says it’s hard to get in, all he did was open the door.

Of all the things that Darth Vader lost when the Death Star blew up, it was the destruction of his George Michael box set that affected him most deeply. He finds his lack of Faith disturbing.

People say I’m good at fractions, but they don’t know the half of it.

Just started a soft rock band We’re called “Limestone”

My friend told me he was looking for a new girlfriend yesterday. I said “Didn’t you just get a new one last week?” He said “That’s the one im looking for”.

I went on a date with a black bird last night. We went to a crow bar.

I’ve always been a pretty funny guy. In fact I came out of my mother’s womb telling a joke. If I recall correctly, it was pretty funny, but the delivery wasn’t that great.

A small bit of lightning hit my toilet. That was a shock to my cistern.