Category: puns

Skydiving accidents. Putting the terminal into terminal velocity.

I don’t like tennis, I find it has too many faults

How many nihilists does it take to sharpen a pencil? One, but there’s still no point.

The town’s local cereal farmer chased me accross his field, but I managed to shake him off by going on one of my maizey runs.

My mate said “Would you like to hear a pun about a forest?” “Yeah” I said, “I Sherwood.”

Procrastination; Otherwise known as self-distract mode.

I hate French jokes. They’re crpe.

I was having trouble picking a scab earlier. They all looked so good.

A cistern walks into a bar, feeling flush, and asks for a bowl of beer. Whats the matter ? Dont you like my toilet humour ?

What do you call a group of time wasting Jamaican pigs? A PorkRastaNation.

I was thinking of punching my waiter in the face after he spilled tomato ketchup on my new shirt but in Heinzesight it wasn’t the best idea

What’s a Hindu? Lays eggs.

Aim for the stars,but first,aim for their bodyguards

Tried my hand at masturbation. I picked it up in 2 minutes.

Apple have announced that they are to launch the iPad 2 by spring. I thought, ‘Don’t do that, you’ll smash it!’