Category: puns

It wasn’t too hard getting the White stringy bit of the orange from between my teeth. In fact it was a piece of pith.

Yesterday I was drawing round criminals to make cardboard cutouts for my ad campaign, when I stood up to think for a second. I was interrupted by someone shouting: “Oi! What are you doing?” “Contemplating.” I replied.

I feel sick that I’ll have to quit my debate club. It just doesn’t agree with me.

The inventor of the king size bed must be rolling in it.

I’m a minister at the graffiti church. Let us spray.

Change is a part of life. After all, you can’t expect to always have the right amount in cash.

My girlfriend said she wanted my focus to be on her. so i parked it on top of her

I was talking to this architect who had his house-maid backwards so he could watch TV at the same time…..

Last night, I went to a costume party dressed as a knife. Thought I looked sharp to say the least.

My uncle smuggled board games for the Germans during the war. He was sentenced to death for being a yahtzee sympathiser.

Stop clubbing baby seals! It’s bad for your livers.

How did Mr Radiation deal with his disobedient wife? He Beta.

What is up with erectile dysfunction?

Mirror.co.uk – Tories rap ‘urban war’ in UK cities – 15 hrs ago where do i get this song from?

What would you call Iron Man and The Silver Surfer if they teamed up? Alloys.