The doctor asked if he co …
The doctor asked if he could examine my metacarpal shaft the other day. I showed him the back of my hand.
Continue ReadingThe doctor asked if he could examine my metacarpal shaft the other day. I showed him the back of my hand.
Continue ReadingMy wife never trust me with anything, especially when it comes to the kids, so I was surprised this morning when she asked me to drop them off at the nursery. I thought they looked really nice next to the potted plants and the baby conifers.
Continue ReadingI love air removal systems. I’m a big extractor fan.
Continue ReadingJust met a guy who’s supposed to be an expert at origami. I gave him the “cold stare” and sneered at him. He folded
Continue ReadingGrimsby’s zoo are bragging they have the best looking chameleon in the world. I can’t see it myself.
Continue ReadingHow did the butcher introduce his wife? Meet Pattie.
Continue ReadingUpskirts Because asking her to show you would be rude.
Continue ReadingI phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
Continue ReadingI think the rebels in Libya can eventually overthrow the government if they stick to their guns.
Continue ReadingI’ve been using fossil fuels a lot recently. But I think the natural history museum is on to me
Continue ReadingI hate those pictures of women with their pants pulled up right tight. Think I’m cameltoes intolerant.
Continue ReadingI’ve placed an order online with a music shop in Scotland. I’m looking forward to having my Ayr guitar delivered.
Continue ReadingThe traffic lights are broken at the end of my road again. No change there then.
Continue ReadingI don’t know why everyone is still making such a big fuss about the bridge I built last week. They need to get over it.
Continue ReadingMy wife was complaining that I never take her out anymore, so I did. She’ll be conscious again in a couple of hours to thank me.
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