Category: puns

Pizza jokes are all about the delivery.

What does Mozart do now that he is dead? He decomposes.

The government bill to ban alcohol was met by a chorus of booze.

I want my gravestone to say “I tried it at home…”

I’ve been writing short stories for years but recently decided to work on a full length book. Its a novel approach.

I really shouldn’t have married my missus. She wasn’t really ready, needed time to develop and was a little bit unstable. Unusually I suppose, that makes her a wife beta.

The Police warned me they’d pin the crime on me if I didn’t pick an African American from the line up. Black male, I thought.

How did ancient Egyptian con artists make their money? With pyramid schemes.

I am a counterfeiter. I mostly work in kitchens.

RomeoAndJuliet.docx is a play on word.

The police raided my local pub and arrested one of my mates. They’d found some gun cartridges at the scene of a shooting and traced them to him. They arrested him and dragged him off to the police station. He was proper gutted. It was my round.

My dad is a former postman living in Germany He’s something of an ex Pat

So how come Robinson’s sponsor tennis and not squash?

Whenever I put my hand down my trousers, it always feels like I’ve lost my little friend. Actually, come to think of it, you can’t really blame Dave for wanting to eat his lunch elsewhere.

Why did they start letting women in the army? To cook the grenades