Category: puns

How does a shot putter get his shot put to other countries? Heathrow

So tonight in the Carling Cup it’s Barnet v Watford; The Bees v The Hornets. Apparently the fans of both teams are buzzing!

Black people end up doing crime, because they are incompatible with the education system. They just don’t seem to cotton on anymore.

I was in bed and I heard someone break in downstairs, I didn’t know which room he was in, so I took a stab in the dark…..Got him.

Re- painting your house is like the olympics…. Nothing will ever work as well as beigeing.

I considered getting a new watch and a new battery. I don’t have the time or the energy.

The Eurozone credit ratings are like a frying pan. Greece at the bottom.

My boss came into my office today and saw me looking at a picture of a destroyed aircraft on the internet He said “Explain” I replied “Yeah it is, did the wings give it away?”

The black guys in my area are very dodgy. They always seem to avoid my bullets.

A teacher once told me that I was wasn’t very observant. I think that was his/her problem…

I was reading a comic and the last page was just a blank piece of paper with a crayon. Now I think it was intentional, but I don’t want to draw any conclusions

I love my new hidden talent.. ..Invisibility.

Seen a play put on by a homeless theatre group last night. It was a poor show.

People keep asking why the top floor of my house overhangs the bottom. Don’t bother, it’s a long storey.

I was never much good at wordplay Which i why i decided to enroll at the Opun university.