Category: professions

I hear the police have set up a hot dog stand outside their station in Nottingham? Haven’t they got anything better to do?

Attending a convention, three psychiatrists go for a stroll during a lunch break. “People are always coming to us with their guilts and fears,” one of them says, “but we have no one to go to with our problems. Since we’re all professionals, why don’t we hear each other out right now?” They all agree […]

I’ve just got a new job in Field Marketing So far I’ve sold about 20 acres.

I have a question for all you French who think no one should be allowed to wear a veil at work. …what about bee keepers?

The hardest part of being a Maternity Ward Gynaecologist is being professional and trying not to get erections all the time. It’s not easy though, with all those naked babies around.

Gynaecologist. Now there is a man who knows how to treat a Lady.

When a doctor remarked on a new patient’s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, “High blood pressure, Doc. It runs in my family.” “Your mother’s side or your father’s?” the doctor asked. “Neither,” the patient replied. “It’s from my wife’s family.” “Oh, come now,” said the doctor. “How could your wife’s family give you high blood […]

I wasn’t feeling too good after my operation. “Come on, go out tonight. I’m sure you’ll have a ball” said the Orchiectomy surgeon.

My doctor told me that my stomach is lined with a fatty residue. I told her she looks fat in her dress, we all have problems.

With my doctor, I don’t get any respect. I told him I wanted a vasectomy. He replied, “With a face like that you don’t need one”.

A dwarf policeman came up to me when I was stoned off my face. He asked was I high. “Higher than you..”

Apparently a lot of sniffer dogs are vanishing into thin air. Police say they have several leads…

Man: Doctor DOCTOR! my knee hurts! Doctor: Can you bend it for me? Man: I’ll try… *snap* Doctor: I ment the other way!

Can anyone help – I can’t remember if you have to report it to the police if you run over a dog. Any advice would be welcome. Also can you tell me if I can keep her purse.

You wouldn’t believe how many hoops I had to jump through to get my job with the Police dog display team.