Category: professions

Why do most NHS doctors have trouble saying sorry? Because they can’t speak English.

Apparently a pub in London got in touch a few days ago asking Sickipedia if they wanted to do a Sickipedia stand-up comedy night. I don’t know about you but that sounds like a police-sting to me.

BBC News: Police to lose ‘10,000 by 2013’. Which, by my estimate, is 4.96770989.

I went to see my doctor about having a vasectomy He said ” Thats a pretty big decision, have you talked it over with your family?” “Yes” I replied, “They’re in favour of it, 14 to 3…”

A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot if you run from a fat policeman…

A young woman goes to the gynaecologist’s for the first time. She disrobes and places her legs in the stirrups. As the doctor begins to examine her, he says, “Relax, you are about to feel a little numbness.” “What do you mean?” asks the woman. The doctor puts his head in between her legs and […]

Man enters the doctors office and sits down. He says to the doctor “what is it doctor – you asked to see me?” The doctor replies, “yeah I’ve got some news”. The man says, “what is it – you’ve already told me I’ve got chlamydia – how worse can it get?”. The doctor says, “no […]

Self Service Checkouts – When you want to know how it feels to be a failure at life…..

I tried to become a professional fisherman but I soon realised I would never be able to survive off my net income.

Just been to the doctors where I had my reactions tested. I still cant believe I kicked him in the head! In hind sight the run up probably wasn’t needed.

I went to the doctors. He said, “You’ve got hypochondria.” I said, “Not that as well.”

“Doctor doctor, I’m morbidly obese.” “Okay, take 5 seats and I’ll be with you in a minute”

A policeman knocked on my door this morning & said, “I’m afraid, I’ve got some bad news”. I said, “Oh you poor thing, come in and I’ll help you through it”.

9/11 – Responsible for the deaths of thousands and the breakdown of families across America. Mind you, our 999 emergency service is pretty useless too.

BBC NEWS: Police in Britain arrest agrophobic teenage ‘mastermind’ behind worldwide hacking. Well at least he won’t need to fear being outside for a long while…