Category: professions

I went to the doctor yesterday and he began examining me. ‘ You will live until you are sixty, ‘ he said. ‘ But I am sixty, ‘ I replied. ‘ See,what did I tell you !!. ‘

I went to the doctors yesterday, I’m quite lucky to have an old fashioned doctor. He’s white.

Ate a pig the other day. Having to lay low for a little while whilst the heat blows over though, turns out the police take cannibalism very seriously.

I’ve just given a speech to a group of clothesline salesmen. They were hanging on my every word.

My electrician mate accidentally blew the power to the Ice making factory next door. The company has gone into liquidation.

NEWSFLASH The search for the man who terrorizes nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Chief Inspector Jones from the West Mercia CID had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow.

I went to see a shrink this morning I came back 3 feet 6 …..

Went to the doctors the other day. I said, “doctor ,you’ve got to help me – I keep having visions of the future.” He replied, “when did these start?” I said, “next Thursday!”

My doctor said Your recovery was a miracle! I replied Praise God. Now I don’t have to pay you.

Is it just me or are bank holidays becoming a redundant term for some people?

BBC News….”Riot shield sledging PC’s told off.” I’m a PC and sledging on a riot shield was my idea.

I say, I say, I say; my doctor won an award for his work on the wasting away of muscle. Atrophy? No, it was a medal.

I went to the doctors today to get my test results. He said, “I’m not going to sugar coat it” “Why not?” I asked, “Is it something serious?” “No, it’s diabetes.”

I went to the doctor’s the other day and he said, “I can’t find a cause for your illness though, quite frankly, I think it’s the drinking.” “Okay,” I said, “I’ll come back when you’re sober.”

Black people getting shot at, I’m beginning to think they like it.