Category: professions

What have been holding communication together between blacks and whites? ,,You have the right to remain silent”.

A primary school teacher asks one of her students, “Dave, what do you want to be when you grow up?” “A plumber, miss,” replies Dave proudly. The teacher laughs, “But you don’t know what a plumber does! And will you be able to carry all the heavy tools?” Dave replies, “Yes miss, I visited some […]

“Police are appealing to the public.” I think you’ll find they aren’t.

My Doctor gave me some soul destroying news earlier. I’ve got athletes foot.

I was pulled over by the police yesterday The cop asked if I had any marajuana in the vehicle Apparently replying with “why, how much do you need?” is neither wise nor clever……….

Late one Friday night a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. He pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. “Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven […]

I was thinking of becoming a Doctor I have the handwriting for it.

If its an offence to imitate a police officer…. then why do we have community police officers …

I just failed my pilot test Apparently 9/11 was not a good enough

What is the difference between God and a social worker? God doesn’t pretend to be a social worker.

Went to the doctors today. I asked the bloke sitting next to me what he was in for. “Terrible piles,” he said. “Is that why you’re sitting on that bean bag?” “What bean bag?” he replied.

I was at the police station the other day after being mugged in a dark alley. The policeman asked “So what did your attacker look like?” I replied “I don’t know I could only see his teeth!”

as a police officer searching for drug users I simply watch the Jeremy Kyle show and hey ho job done!

What’s a Cops favourite Hand in Poker? Four Clubs beats a Spade.

Our police station is holding a knife amnesty this week and I just dropped all of mine in to them. My wife’s gone mental as she only has a fork now to eat her lunch with.