A hairdresser asked me ou …
A hairdresser asked me out today. I’d never go out with a hairdresser though – they always talk about you behind your back.
Continue ReadingA hairdresser asked me out today. I’d never go out with a hairdresser though – they always talk about you behind your back.
Continue ReadingI’m a Community Support Officer, and I’m a fake PC
Continue ReadingBuying the winning lottery ticket……….. Statistically the only thing more rare than meeting a white doctor.
Continue ReadingMy boss told me that my report concerning the company’s quarterly profit margin was below par. As a golfer, do I consider that a good or a bad thing?
Continue ReadingGot pulled over by a police woman today… didn’t know the kitchen had a speed limit.
Continue ReadingMy hot air balloon business has gone bust. Ive never felt so deflated.
Continue Reading“What do your sisters do?” “One’s an accountant, the other’s studying medicine in Canada.” “And what about your brother?” “He’s with Special Branch.” “Wow, I bet he gets paid well.” “No idea. They only picked him up yesterday.”
Continue ReadingJust as a surgeon was finishing up an operation the patient wakes up, sits up and demands to know what is going on. “I’m about to close,” the surgeon says. The patient grabs his hand and says, “Oh, no you’re not! I’ll close my own incision.” The doctor hands him the needle and says, “Suture […]
Continue ReadingComing soon: The Police iPhone Confession App: Download full confession, fall downstairs, then click on Agree.
Continue ReadingCouldn’t get any whitewash in London today. Apparently the Metropolitan police have stockpiled it.
Continue ReadingThree ‘successful’ businessmen came in to talk in our school yesterday. In fact, they were so successful, they had nothing to do on a Monday morning.
Continue ReadingNow, I dont see colour. People tell me Im white and I believe them because police officers call me sir.
Continue ReadingI was first in a police line-up today. Someone had to get the conga started at the station’s Christmas party.
Continue ReadingGot stopped on the way home from the pub last night, I was so drunk i could hardly focus. A police woman asked me “Do you even know who i am?”. I don’t think my reply “Drop your knickers and i will let you know!”, Went down very well.
Continue ReadingI went to see a psychiatrist. When he asked me what the problem was, I said, “I have to qualify everything I say. Well, I say ‘everything’…”
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