Category: philosophy

My philosophy professor stated that “The only certain thing in this world is that nothing is certain.” I’ve certainly tried to get my head around what he means. But I’m still a bit uncertain.

If time flies when you’re having fun. Don’t pessimists live longer than optimists?

I seriously doubt the intelligence of the philosopher who came up with “What will be will be”. I’m going to go ahead right now and claim the following- “What has been, has been”, “What won’t be, won’t be”, and “What could have been, could have been.”.

Why is a building called a building when its already been built?

My girlfriend has just left me because of all the philosophical theories I believe. Like I care. She doesn’t exist anyway.

Saw a woman in a short mini-skirt and tight top getting into a car today. On the back was a sign that read “Think Bike”. I thought to myself…. I’m way ahead of you.

When people ask me if i’m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask them, if their hurting hard or hardly hurting!

If God refuses to believe in other gods, does that make him an atheist?

French authorities have discovered that it is not the real Mona Lisa displayed in the Louvre.. It’s just a painting of her.

The secret to a long life is don’t smoke, don’t drink and don’t overeat. And the secret to happiness, well that’s an entirely different matter.

If you’re not allowed to talk to strangers, how can you make any friends?

If only I had been born a lego brick. I could have made something of my life.

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.

I’ve set myself a target: By the end of the year I am going to become an optimist. I doubt if I’ll achieve it though.

Modern philosophy: The free of sin are those that give their phone to their partner without erasing anything.