Why are blonde jokes gene …
Why are blonde jokes generally frowned upon? Because they’re not very clever.
Continue ReadingWhy are blonde jokes generally frowned upon? Because they’re not very clever.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference between me and a blind man? A blind man would be happy to see my wife.
Continue ReadingIt only takes an awkward hug to make you notice the similarities between breathing in and sniffing.
Continue ReadingWish my friends were more like ‘Google’. It never judges me, no matter what I ask it to do.
Continue ReadingWhen I’m bored I like to go into a crowded elevator and say ‘You all are probably wondering why I gathered you here’ with the straightest face.
Continue ReadingWhy are men so much better at reading maps ? Coz only in a mans mind can 1 inch = 100 miles
Continue ReadingIf Michael Barrymore wanted to come out of the closet earlier why didn’t he just take his wife swimming?
Continue ReadingHow many people does it take to jump on a bandwagon? My wife.
Continue ReadingIf people say you have a bubbly personality, chances are you’re ugly
Continue ReadingThere are only two types of honest people in this world. Small children and drunk people.
Continue ReadingI’m always really careful to have my phone on silent when I’m in the theatre. The last thing I’d want is to be woken up.
Continue ReadingAn old fella fell down in the street outside my house this afternoon and smashed his head on the pavement. He was laying on his back like a dying beetle, legs twitching. Blood gushing everywhere from a head wound. It was an awful sight. So I decided to do something about it. I closed my […]
Continue ReadingIf people evolved from apes, why do women smell like fish ????
Continue ReadingTwo pensioners are sitting at the bench in the park surrounded with pigeons. -“Did you bring bread for pigeons?” – asks first one. -“Sorry mate, I didn’t, I already spent all of my money!” -“No worries mate” – said the first one: -“Will eat them without bread!”
Continue ReadingLast night a blind chick came up to me and asked me out. I said I was seeing someone.
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