Category: one liner

I read today that Lego, despite the credit crunch have seen there profits go through the roof, then collapsed when some bigger boys put their feet through it.

I wish my wife was as dirty as this site!

What’s the biggest Crustacean in the World? Kings Cross Station.

Since her stroke, my Mum’s become so two-faced.

Stupidity is not a handicap, park elsewhere

My mrs.brought home 30 knickerbocker glories! I’ll never eat those in a month of sundaes!

I split from my tug of war partner, there was too much tension.

Heather Mills is a giant fingernail; and the world is her blackboard.

Head of lettuce. That must be a boring job.

What do you call a death camp full of kittens? Meow-schwitz

If your aim in life is to be unsuccessful and you are unsuccessful…… doesn’t that make you successful?

A rolling stone gathers no moss, ……. that’s the last time I hire Keith Richards to do my landscaping…

My wife says I always make her feel small… But if anything her new bedroom in the downstairs cupboard does the opposite

Ironically, I find fat slags are very easy to pick up.

I spent all afternoon digging the garden for my grandma. I can’t remember where I buried her.