Category: one liner

Wheelchair users and benefit cheats run in my family.

I’ve got a good joke about Royal Mail, but I think I’ll post it next week.

My wife went out to buy a new car but all she came back with was a bar stool. Apparently, it’s the new Seat.

jokes about the spanish on sickipedia? no way, jos

The best way of getting over someone is getting on top of someone else.

There is no greater fear for a man than the few seconds after proposing a hi-5, standing with his hand in the air and a pleading look in his eyes not to be left hanging

I’ve just been to a restaurant and I saw a sign on the door saying, ‘Look out for our new menu’. I walked in and it hit me in the face.

Sky News “US woman to be executed with IQ between 70 and 72” So 71?

My old man’s not a dustman but he sometimes wears a dustman’s hat just to confuse people.

I wanted to make a joke about font, but I’m not bold enough.

I shaved a hedgehog earlier. It was pointless.

The great thing about imaginary friends is that if you square them they become real.

My agent said I should use a pen name, so from now on I am calling myself Bic Parker.

I really wouldn’t be surprised or bothered if i had no emotion.

Until they invented the other side of velcro, it never caught on.