Category: one liner

Why do old women all have the same haircut?

Who needs Flowers AND chocolates when you’ve got roses.

I used to go on MSN news. Now i just wait for an hourly update on here.

Aftershave – Perfect for all occasions…… Except for right after you just shaved.

It’s a sad, sad day when you start to realise you’re playing a solitaire game that you know you’ve already played…

I’m sick of my girlfriend listening to Cyndi Lauper CDs, time after time.

Sickipedians – The people that the Daily Mail warn you about.

I’ve heard that reincarnation is making a comeback

There’s been a bitter rivalry between Tetley’s and Greene King for generations.

I can’t see myself not owning a mirror.

Watching the gadget show on Dave is like watching the history channel for current affairs.

Is it rude to stare at blind people?

Whenever I’m on a plane, I always sit right at the back because you never hear of a plane backing into a mountain do you?

The wife got very annoyed yesterday because she couldn’t find the mattress. She lost her tempur

Why is it these days kids always scream when they’re playing?