Category: one liner

My druggie neighbour’s got a high opinion of himself.

I’m an apathetic sociopath – I’d kill you if I cared

Karate – The only thing where black is the superior.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame has retired. He recieved two years back pay , a lump sum, and a case of Bells

Anyone else wonder why deaf people still have ears?

I’m dying to know if I’m a good patient.

You know you’re getting old when you and your teeth don’t sleep together anymore.

Piers are just bridges built by lazy people.

I always knew I’d write the book on predictions.

My wife’s weight problems are all behind her.

An eye for an eye means my new Eyepatch business is booming.

Incest runs in the family.

Is white a race if we’ve already won?

I hate people who are indirect, you know who you are.

Lipstick: If only it were more like Ronseal.