Category: one liner

Facebook: making other people aware of your pretentious middle name since 2004.

My wife accused me of being easily distracted. I almost

“You complete me” I said as I looked at Stacey, my organ donor.

Sickipedia: the light-hearted way to get your news.

Who would be the biggest loser? The person who wins the award for “biggest loser” or the person who was runner up?

African-Americans believe that disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

There’s a lot to be said for mutes.

If the Queen kills herself is it suicide or treason?

We Muslims like our marriages the same way we like our flowers. Arranged.

My doctor said to me, “Do you know your sperm count?” I said I didn’t know they were that clever.

I’ve grown to hate low ceilings.

I’ve never been told I’m a bad listener.

Filthy Stinking Rich… Well, Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad.

Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law… on a milk carton.

If Jamrags were really serious about their market research theyd know they should be giving away free fleshlights, not tampons!