Category: one liner

Funny how inflammable things are flammable.

Pyjama cords – convincing you there’s a spider in your bed since pretty much you were born.

What do you call a rapper with a hectic shedule? Busy Rascal

Great news for BlackBerry users: a solution has been emailed to you.

Have you heard about the Dyslexic Tramp. He keeps dipping his beard into his Soup

What do you call the one white man on a bus full of blacks? Coach.

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I think I hate indecisive, prejudiced hypocrites.

If I had a crystal ball… I’d sit down really carefully.

My girlfriend asked me, “If you could have any super-power, which one would you have?” I said, “America.”

Carlsberg doesn’t do football violence………but Carling does!

Bin men have got a rubbish job.

I went to the Red Cross the other day and asked to buy a stretcher, They asked me if I wanted to try it out first but I didn’t want to get carried away

My girlfriend’s definitely going to leave me because of my pessimism.

I was cutting down Trees yesterday, when i almost killed a Swedish House DJ. Luckily i shouted “TIM BERG !!”.