Category: one liner

If the old saying ‘staring at a screen makes your eyes go square’ is true, have the Chinese just watched too much widescreen television?

Everyone has mental health issues,even Moses was a basket case.

My parents were so poor, when I was little they used to take me to the pet shop and tell me it was the zoo.

Sickipedia – The most fun you can have with your hands without going blind…

My girlfriend is black she says she loves me long crime

I wouldn’t be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife.

I can tell you now, with my hand on my heart, I have no ribs.

You’re as pointless as the second window at McDonald’s.

I used to feel like a man in woman’s body.. Then my Mum gave birth.

I like to bring a torch to the cinema and just have all the rows move down for no reason.

Now might be a good time to buy shares in Cash Converters.

I come from a really rough neighborhood. I bought a waterbed once and found a guy at the bottom of it.

I remember the first time I tried Shaving with a Bic. I ended up drawing more Stubble than I had in the first place.

I’ve always been unlucky. I had a rocking horse once, and it died.

Jamrags does sound suspiciously like a character that was rejected from the final cut of Toy Story 2.