Category: one liner

A new Indian version of Fawlty Towers is being released starring Fazul Balti.

Sitophiliacs come in pears.

I don’t really like lip readers, but I’d never say that to their face.

I had my first Waltz lesson last night. It all seemed to be going well when my partner said to me, “You might want to take half a step back babe, there’s no groin contact in a Waltz”. I wonder if that’s why they call it Ballroom…

Water floats my boat.

My first session with the Impatience Support Group is tonight…….. I can’t wait.

Of course it not a live wire. Look, I can even touch it with my ha

My philosophical grandad thought for this country.

Watching the global financial crisis unfold is like watching my dad being molested a by a fat guy in a clown outfit. I know its going to affect me, I’m just not sure how!

It’s incredible how nervous people get if you follow them up a ladder.

Me and my wife are inseperable. Sometimes it takes three or four people to pull us apart.

When these Muslim suicide bombers get to Heaven, I hope every single one of their 72 virgins are men.

I always dress in Tie Dye just in case Predator is watching.

I just found out my local brothel is doing a new promotion! So if you want to come along, Feel Free!

What do you call someone from Norwich who has no brother’s or sisters? A virgin.