Category: one liner

Do you ever had that feeling that you’re being watched? Yeah that’s me.

I’ve found out my Dad wanted me aborted, my Mum thought it was a bad idea as I was just about to start secondary School.

My car is so fast the payments are three months behind.

Thin ice – It’s not what it’s cracked up to be.

Microsoft buy Skype from Ebay. Top-rated seller.

I was a whisker away from stealing an entire utensil set earlier.

I believe in honesty with my kids. When they say “Daddy, what will I be when I grow up ?” I tell them “disappointed”.

I was going to be a horologist, but then I discovered it isn’t what it sounds like.

Busted saw Global Warming coming

Liam Hilton: Glasgow’s tribute act to Liverpool’s most electric one hit wonder.

Whenever I do crack I get hairs in my mouth

Ironically Loot magazine is free.

To be frank, you could talk about drugs to me all day.

A man walks into a bar to find Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston standing by the Karaoke machine. He turns to the bartender… “It’s dead in here again then Dave.”

Natural disasters – keeping sickipedia going since 2001