Category: one liner

Whilst buying some nuts today I noticed the pack said “stachios”… I thought… someone’s taken the pis.

Are you telling me there’s such a thing as a ‘gender test’ in sport and no one’s thought to try it on the Williams ‘sisters’ and Amelie Mauresmo?!

I’ve just bought a cardboard TV. Its all paper view.

So in which prison is the Sickipedia stand up comedy night?

My girlfriend said I’m afraid of commitment. Well… She’s not my girlfriend.

What would happen if you poured self-raising flour on an orphan?

Black clowns, for those dark humour fans.

A bloke handed me a box of Jamaican hair the other day. Dreadful.

Borders have gone into administration. The administrator expects it to take some time to go through the company’s books…

Any hole is a goal…except a manhole.

A barman is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

So Fifty-six percent of all women carry condoms. That must mean The other 44% carry babies.

Jews are usually so good with savings. Ironically, they couldn’t save themselves.

Has anyone else wondered what girls do when they are home alone?

Uproar in Manchester after they finally hear of the Oasis split