Category: one liner

Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

People accuse me of being lazy, but I’ll think of a comeback soon.

My phone only works in churches… I’m on a pray as you go tariff

I’ve just put a tenner on at corals that he sits up in his coffin during the interval

what came first the chicken or the dfs sale?

Men with a stutter have a lot to say.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy

My wifes so fat, even our wedding photo weighed 30lbs.

My wife and I are a fastidious couple. I am fast and she is hideous.

Homeless people- more money than sense.

I had a recurring dream once.

i thought that this country had a load of foreigners until i went abroad

It’s a small world – but I wouldn’t like to paint it.

You’ll never guess what I saw on this mornings Thomas The Tank Engine…

I tell you what is dodgy… Dodgeball.