Category: one liner

If there’s one thing this week has taught us, it’s that Italians have better aim than Iraqis.

Why whenever I click my pen in Africa, do the locals think I’m talking to them?

I once took a Penalty in the Fog and Mist.

What did the Danish bricklayer say when someone tried to grab him? Lego!

I sneaked a gun into my trial to shoot the 12 jurors. Who can blame me?

Did you know it is national Pantomime and lie day today? Oh no it’s not.

Just over four months later, I’m still pleased she’s dead.

If I didn’t have such a huge ego, I’d be perfect.

I guess the librarian let Alexander McQueen check out that book.

No phrase sums up an orphanage open day more than “finders keepers, losers weepers”.

I applied for a loan, but the bank had zero percent interest.

I’m naming my new yacht “Drug Deal Gone Right.”

If an Octopus loses a tentacle does it become a heptopus?

Is it just me that has no clue who Megatron is? I evened wikipedia-ed him and still don’t get the jokes.

I have not yet begun to procrastinate.