Category: one liner

Sometimes I like to pop over to the house opposite my pub.

I’m having some prosthetic toes fitted tomorrow. New changes are afoot.

Summer should get a ticket for speeding.

Butlin’s: where the poor have their annual wash

At the moment i really am living the dream, unfortunately for me, its the dream of a schitzophrenic rapist

I find numbers very reliable. I can always count on them.

In order to boost sales I have decided to open up a KFC next door to the Job Centre.

Walt Disney didn’t die,he’s in suspended animation.

Why is it that in order to support something, one must lean against it?

I’m annoyed with angles, to a degree.

Do history exams get harder every year?

I’m an Air France Airbus A330 and I’m in PCs

If you’re struggling to make sense of it all and don’t know where to turn, just step back and try to see the big picture. Art galleries aren’t for everyone.

A problem shared, is a problem laughed at.

What’s the difference between my wife and a corpse? One’s bloated and can often be found in a fridge.. And the other one’s dead.