Category: one liner

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

I’ve never called my wife a Dog. I wouldn’t want to Diss a Pointer.

Getting a hard-on is the only way I can get my wife to leave me alone.

It’s funny how people change.Although, apparently that’s not a valid excuse for lurking around Debenham’s changing rooms.

My parents made a lot of sacrifices when I was growing up. They were Satanists.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you’re wrong.

A black horse went into a pub, and the barman says, “Did you know there’s a pub down the road named after you?” The black horse replied, “What? There’s a pub called Jehmal?”

Would you still vote for jokes if you knew Jim Davidson posted them?

I love my wife, but not as much as I love lying.

You know it’s a sick joke website when the sponsor withdraws it’s funding.

Since being cleared of negligence, my train driving career’s back on track.

Norwich City are looking like a recipe of disaster for this season.

Thanks to Heroin I think I’m addicted to needles.

Stable relationships are for horses

Canine intelligence is routinely overrated. I consistently beat my Wire Fox Terrier at chess 4 out 5 games.