Category: one liner

You know you’ve messed up completely when even Hallmark doesn’t have an apology card for what you did.

Can Muslims eat fast food on Ramadan?

Irony: Like ironing but with more creases

Roses are Red Violets are fine I’ll be the six, if you be the nine

Went camping last night. Pulled three blokes.

My career’s looking up, I’m a gynaecologist.

A true friend stabs you in the front.

So to recap, I put the top back on my pen.

statistically, 1100001% of geeks understand binary.

I went into a shop and I said, “Can someone sell me a kettle.” The bloke said “Kenwood” I said, “Where is he then?”

Going out on a date with a girl who is on her period is like going to Alton Towers and queueing up for a ride that you know is broken

Never argue with an Idiot, he might be doing the same.

My mate say he can get his dog to come on command. I have to give mine a handjob.

2 Men go into a pub and sit down to eat their lunches. “Oi, you can’t eat your own lunch here!” the barman says the two blokes look at each other, then swap their lunches.

The Dead Kennedys…..REUNITED!!!!