Category: one liner

Has anyone else noticed that most cars with a sticker saying “All valuable items have been removed from this vehicle” contain clearly visible valuable items.

So if the Mayans are right, does that mean this is the last Christmas to be visited by the annoying Ghost of Christmas Future?

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

SQA Examinations, that’s the real sick joke here.

Moses was the first person to use Control-C as a shortcut.

Doorbells. There’s a nice ring to them.

Guns are for people who can’t be bothered to humiliate criminals with elaborate swinging paint-can contraptions.

Maybe poor people don’t even like food, we don’t know.

“I’d tap that” Said the News of the world journalist…

After all the doom and gloom in the news it`s nice to wake up to some good news.

The best thing about mother’s milk is the lovely packaging.

Just seen two posts and a crossbar made entirely out of fruit. It was a peach of a goal

Some people say i’m too vague. But you know the famous saying…

I’m just like the wind…. If you catch my drift.

There are four things i am not good at; Faces, names and numbers.