Category: one liner

I crawled into my exam today. I was told to take a different approach.

Does a disabled Gypsy live in a paravan?

So I just read about a guy in New Jersey that died after falling into a vat of chocolate. Won’t the family be mad when the Oompa Loompas show up at the funeral…

I’ve got a fantastic memory…I can still remember the day a giant tadpole was banging me on the head.

An aspiring writer tells his colleague: ”From my early childhood, I have always been using two single quotes instead of double ones and no one has ever noticed!”

I was asked if I thought people are censored too much, So i said “

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

I’ve started to wear Dove deodorant recently in the hope of getting some birds.

I offered a pregnant woman a seat on the bus today. She refused, but it was for the best. She was probably too big for my lap anyway.

My dad moved in some very mysterious circles, he had a wooden leg

My new club for condom lovers is ‘Members Only’.

Where do dwarfs go to buy jonnys? little woods

The bidet – invented by someone who got tired of doing handstands in the shower.

“[Dubstep] basically sounds like constipation therapy”

It’s OK for me to make Dead Baby jokes. One of my best friends is a dead baby.