Category: one liner

I’ve been invited to a hair-washing party. Can’t think of an excuse.

I’ve had a spectacular day. It was in 1997, I think.

Rumour is they are playing the Ashes in Athens next time round..

It’s like playing “Where’s Wally?” trying to find white athletes at the World Championships.

I took my wife to a freak show yesterday, but they weren’t hiring.

Girls mature faster than boys. 12 is the new 20.

My friend asked me how to spell immature the other day, I replied : ‘POO.’

People always need their opinions validated. Am I right?

I got drunk last night. Mind you, thats what I get for sitting in a cup of tea.

Man Utd… …Feel the burn.

Get celebrity sportsmen into trouble by betting on them in an ‘irregular pattern’.

The thought of resorting to sleeping pills keeps me awake at night.

If quizzes are quizzical, what does that make tests?

Surely thinking Positive will attract negative things?

I’m your biggest fan, I’ll follow you until you crash in a tunnel, Pappa, Papparazzi.