Category: one liner

Twice: So good they named it twice.

To be honest reading this website recently i dont think i have ever seen so many guys being so honest

I spilt some stain remover on my sleeve. How do you get that out?

As I was driving down a dark country lane last night, I thought “its a good job that guy invented cats-eyes otherwise that cat wouldn’t have seen me”

If I brought one thing to a dessert island it would be a spoon.

What do you call a law-abiding city with a lisp? Ethics.

Roundabouts are a revolutionary idea.

The key to being funny is to say smart things stupidly… or was is it stupid things smartly? Whatever, it’s not rocket surgery.

Should we tell the person who invented the number “0” thanks for nothing?

The Wife keeps moaning about my Fascination for Explosives. There must be Mortar life than this.

I was liv when someone nicked my id.

What did Mr T say when an alien from Tatooine got on his nerves? Quit yo jibba… Jabba!

I PAD Giving window lickers a chance in life since 2010

Not being funny or anything….. but why did you all marry fat women?

Found an old pair of pants in my wardrobe today with extra cloth at the bottom. That’s a turn up.