Category: one liner

It’s not my fault I blame everyone else for my mistakes

Every conversation with a narcoleptic is a potential bedtime story.

Just heard a joke about a Milkman. Must be doing the rounds at the moment.

Sometimes I wish I was black . . . Kinda rules out being Ginger.

Do you think Roadrunner would have been so elusive if ACME had built IEDs?

If you think that your too small in this world to make an impact, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.

Statistically, 50,000 Haitans won’t get this.

Ive got that many train sets I’ve lost track.

I’m normally quite cynical about over counter treatments but I really think this antisceptic cream is starting to work.

I must say that was the best Sunday lunch I’ve had all week.

I really wanted to finger the missus but my thumb opposed.

I was watching my wife on the toilet earlier when I thought, “She should use a stepladder if she can’t reach the lightbulb.”

I’m looking for new techniques for waste disposal. You got any tips?

I was going to be a Milkman, But unfortunantly i bottled it.

It must’ve been a good night… A poster that says “Say No To Crack” reminded me to pull up my knickers.