Category: one liner

The wife is like an Angel. Always up in the air harping on about something

The fancy dress party was not as good as I though it would be, no one spoke to me all evening AND no one complimented my “Invisible man” costume

There are no stupid questions,………………. but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.

Tired apostrophes risk falling into a comma.

The sickipedia stand up night, looking for ‘sponsors’, or ‘bail’ as it’s more commonly known..

I wonder how American muslims get through Ramadan?

Turns out my wife is a thrill seeker, so I’ve started throwing her the dishes.

So Humpty Dumpty went to this Serbian music festival….

Why aren’t Audi A3s twice the size of Audi A4s?

Some dirty old bag hit me today, was well windy.

Red Bull farts are the wind beneath your wings.

Our economy is so bad, Lent next year will be called borrowed.

As my calling card, I like to leave the toilet seat up in the disabled toilets.

If it is true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why mothers cry at weddings.

I wouldn’t want to fly Virgin. Who’d want to fly an airline that doesn’t go all the way?