Category: one liner

What’s the point of looking up the spelling of a word in the dictionary when you don’t know how to spell it in the first place?

I cant see many racist jokes being submitted tonight, “This is England” is on film 4…

Quadriplegics – you gotta hand it to them…

I aim to put a stop to uncompleted sentences.

Ive been writing a report about my compulsive masturbation. I came to the conclusion.

What’s the difference between the sun and Sickipedia? The sun only goes down once a day.

I would imagine if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy!

My football team is sponsored by Apple. So now there is an ‘I’ in team.

I got thrown out of the local bookies today because apparently I don’t understand how betting works. What’re the odds?

I’ve been married for 20 years, and it’s been the happiest time of my life. I’m just dreading the day my wife comes out of her coma.

People that walk their dogs around children’s parks are not fooling anyone.

If I was any more street… I would be homeless

You know music’s bad when parodies are better than the original.

As a cost-cutting measure, the local council has closed its housing benefits call centre and opened a walk-in office inside Lidl.

I would kill to spend 15-25 years in prison.