Category: one liner

Yesterday, I went to sleep with my head at the foot of my bed to mix things up. This morning, I woke up slightly confused about where I was. Misson accomplished.

Londonderry. The only word with 6 silent letters.

When a mermaid dies, is it possible to hollow her out and use her as a sleeping bag?

Old Chinese proverb say: Man who walks through doorway sideways with erection is always going to Bangkok.

Fishermen know their plaice is at sea.

My whole world has fallen apart… Stupid 3D puzzles

I am not single, I’m romantically challenged.

I always XD when I see a Chinese person eating an orange slice.

Is it possible to be racist towards a black albino?

I told my wife that her new dress reminds me of a cured epileptic. “It’s a miracle?” She asked. “Try again” I replied. “OK, urmm… you really like it?” She implored. “Nope” I responded. “OK, I give up, why does my new dress remind you of a cured epileptic?” She Inquired “It doesn’t fit”

Girls that are afraid of the dark. That’s a turn off.

Thick Chips. Do they come from Dumfries?

Nudism: Been there, done that, took off the t-shirt.

The new version of Pac-Man is so awesome, it comes with a search engine built into it.

I’m finding some of the humour about the dead child in the tumble dryer a bit dry.