Category: one liner

Who else pretends to get it in the wrong hole to see if she’ll go for it?

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious

I was thinking of becoming a suicide bomber but they only did temp work.

After getting a new tv I spent hours watching the box .. Then I opened it and got the telly out

Wonder if there’s a euphemism for a ‘euphemism’?

I always talk to myself. It’s the only way to have an intelligent conversation.

I’ve been diagnosed with water on the knee. My Doctor says I should invest in a pair of drainpipe trousers.

Anorexic pop comebacks- They’re not over till the fat lady sings.

You never know where you stand with a cyclops . I mean , is he winking at you , or just blinking ?

You know you’re in a rough pub when they’ve got the Racing Channel on.

Fight Apathy! …. Maybe later

Welcome back, TheCrossBowCannibal – would you like to hide a heinous crime?

As I am in a band, I did a gig for a load of phone companies and the reception was amazing… Except for T-Mobile.

Incompetent cardiologists break my heart.

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?