Category: one liner

Did you hear about the vegetable farmer that died? There was a big turnup at his funeral…

I’ve often wondered how people get to the shop that sells wheelchairs.

I like really dark movie theatres. That way, I don’t have to buy my own popcorn.

I wonder why when all the lights in the city stop working its called a black-out

a Poet walks in to a bard….

I went to the Planetarium yesterday, I dont think i was welcome… the whole atmosphere changed as soon as i walked in.

sky news confirm fred west’s brother john was a serial salmon killer

3.14% of sailors are Pi Rates.

My escapology skills know no bounds.

The company Booker has bought Makro today for 139 million…. plus VAT.

Is it bad taste to write ‘First’ on a dead friends facebook wall?

Hairdressers, I take my hat off to them.

Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but I have heard my wife is going to leave me because I gossip too much.

My missus says there’s some chips in the oven… I better buy a new one.

My jokes are a lot like my internet browsing history. Disturbing, immature and often deleted before i can see them again