Category: one liner

Please knock firmly, I love firm knockers.

Who does Frank talk to when he has a drug problem?

Does anyone know the name of that black guy who plays for Wigan Athletic?

My girlfriend asked me, “Do You believe in love at first sight”? I said, “At the first sight of what”?

My wife got a mudpack and looked great for two days.. then the mud fell off.

Someone stole my contact lenses today. Robbed me blind

If this Final doesnt finish soon im going to have to take it out on my wife.

I may be stupid but at least I’m not clever.

Left my job at the Fat Fighters monthly magazine when they made my weight an issue.

Went to a party at Barry White’s house last night, it was very low key.

Being crushed by large objects can be very depressing.

Model trains make me Hornby.

Spiderman’s only fear = Rolled up newspaper man.

The next greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist, blindfold!

Are all librarians really so offensive?